Can I just observe and listen?
Practicing being just an observer and a listener is hard. It requires me to be quiet and open my heart and soul. But wait! I want to receive accolades! I want to be recognized. I want to feel important. I want to use my voice and try to convince you that I have the answers. However, experience suggests to me that, that’s the big “I”/ego jumping up and down, around and around, creating monkey mind activity - NOT the little “i”/soul.
A recent daily reading raised this thought. Can I be the observer and listener of “my-self” – however that may be defined? Which “self” has the loudest voice? Shadow or Soul. Is it possible to observe and listen (watch and hear) both (either/or), from a view of non-judgement?
Last week I wrote about the 5th anniversary of Don’s exit and in part how a change has taken place, through this exercise/experience of writing. Of putting words down that are somehow coming from both shadow and soul and that have been reinforcing this idea of “it’s all about love”.
Great love received. Great love was given. I’ve had and done both.
Being an Observer
There seems to be a preponderance of information crossing my path every single day. Sometimes it feels like my “senses” are being bombarded through both written and verbal exchanges which is why, at times, I find it necessary to step back into a bit of solitude (thank you, Ramona Grigg) and take a bit of quiet (thank you Donna McArthur).
Then again, where the information comes from, and how I choose to engage with and interpret it falls entirely to this “Perfectly on Time” spiritual being having a human experience. In turn that raises questions. Can this human-suited, earth-school traveller simply sit back and observe all that’s taking place in our world without:
Sitting in judgment?
Engaging in fear-based anxieties and dramas?
Trying to convince others of my “rightness”?
Closing my heart and soul to other opinions?
Might being an “observer” offer opportunities to uncover, discover and discard behaviours, attitudes and responses that don’t serve a useful purpose or in some way benefit the “greater good”?
Is it a simple exercise? Does it require mindfulness and practice? Is there some kind of reward / goal / to be attained?
OR might it be another way to practice “The Four Agreements”?
Listening to hear
I cannot speak to what others may do or experience when listening to another soul “talk story”. What I can speak to is a recognition that my own “mind” needs to be encouraged to please forget about “self” for just a little bit. Not forever, we know that isn’t going to happen. BUT, for the length of time another soul becomes vulnerable enough to speak from the heart, can I give it my best shot to REALLY listen?
I was privileged to be part of an event a few weeks ago where the “talking story” that took place touched a place in me that I’m not sure I even knew was there. It felt like I was watching a type of “heart-opening” process unfolding in real time. The stories being shared were the deep, gut-wrenching, heart-breaking kind and, the fact that they were being verbalized to a group, spoke volumes about the healing that was taking place.
On Oct 22 Mark Nepo via his “Book of Awakening” provided an answer (at least to me).
“…I was surprised to see that the tide had receded to reveal a cliff that had been submerged. I was now able to walk on what revealed itself, out into the sea. And the water rising about me – spraying and slapping what normally can’t be seen – made me realize it is the same with our pain. For only when we can outwait the dark will the sharpness of experience recede like a tide to reveal what has survived beneath it all. Often what seems tragic, if looked at long enough, reveals itself as part of a larger transformation.”
I see and hear much about “trauma” in our world. When presented with such a recollection, what am I to do? Give sage words of advice. Offer my version of some kind of solution. Suggest some kind of next steps that might be taken to help the storyteller move forward and beyond the event.
What I found myself moved to do was go to four of the participants and ask: (1) “Do you accept hugs” and (2) when they said “yes” ask if they knew about “heart to heart” hugs. All four said “no” so I got to show them how hugging from left to left instead of our usual right to right then connects our two hearts. Result? An energetic exchange that perhaps benefited both of us.
It delights me to relay that story because it was a most lovely moment of serendipity and serenity and for that day my favourite of being “Perfectly on Time”.
I value whatever connection may be taking place between us, through these posts at Substack. Even though that “connection” is tied to technology versus “in-person” I truly do love the idea that there may be a heart and soul exchange taking place. Thank you!
This can be a challenging skill to learn, and even more tricky to maintain with consistency. Thank you for the reminder about how important practice can be.
The awareness in me is the awareness in you. I love you to the moon and back yet I’ve gone no distance in order to have our love meet as one. I think it’s time we had a good chat seeker.
“The Seeker herself becomes the knower. The thing to be known is already there. There is nothing to be known afresh. More-over there are no two things. There is only the seer, the knower.”
— Ramana Maharshi