To all you beautiful people who have landed here – you may not realize it but you play an important part in my “Perfectly on Time” story and I love that you’ve joined in.
I continue to be both flattered and surprised when I see new subscribers or followers appearing. Thank you for what feels like encouragement and continues to astonish and delight this writer. It truly does inspire me to embrace those most lovely and “Perfectly on Time” moments and start putting words together.
I know without a doubt that I’ve been “stuck” and in some ways it feels like some type of “frozen state”. But then ultimately thawing begins and presents another “Perfectly on time” opportunity for one more walk down the “let’s change this up” road. Thank you
for your ongoing support and influence.
AND thanks to
for presenting “We Write Who We Are” which contained words that encouraged me to land in front of my computer one more time and simply begin.It also strikes me that I can only entertain you (that could be a bit of a stretch I suppose - that word “entertain”) with what shows up, on my screen and yours, through a willingness to become somewhat vulnerable and express what surfaces via my own heart and soul.
Not your validation,
Not that of my peers,
Not that of my friends,
Not that of my family,
Not that of all those beautiful writers I consistently compare myself to
Then poof! The voice that has lain below the surface of this human-suited, earth-school traveller simply cannot remain incognito and needs to be given permission to show up and speak up. And, today that voice needs to acknowledge my Gladys.
A soul letter to my mentor
My darling girl!
This letter is my attempt to capture, at least in part, our “soul/human-suit” journey and connection and to trust that the words that arrive are “Perfectly on Time” - for you - for me - for all of us who love you - and for anyone else out there who may take even a small measure of comfort from this sharing. Of course this can only be a “snippet” because it would take a book to capture your entire 97 year journey. Somehow though, I think you will approve.
I feel your presence and spirit surrounding me as I sit here at my computer. Nudging and prodding to just let words flow and simply trust that the right ones will ultimately arrive. You reinforced a statement for me years and years ago that I love and hang onto. “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” All that’s required is “willingness” - willingness to open my heart and listen.
These past few years have offered all of us experiences not to be missed. Difficult at times and yet at several of our in person and/or weekly zoom gatherings you have continued to surprise and amaze us (both your daughters AND your extended family “tribe” of followers).
I remember when you were the age that I am now and at times you would say “aging ain’t for wimps”. Of course it was easy for me to laugh - you too would be laughing - because that’s just part of who you always are/were. A bright, bright light of encouragement and inspiration. Today, as you have begun your walk across the rainbow bridge (actually it might be that you are galloping across on that horse you used to love riding), it seems my view may have morphed into something quite different.
Let’s start with Dementia is not something that “wimps” come here to experience.
has and continues to share with love and compassion about her own “story” with Dan in that regard.I have to confess and make amends for the fact that as you fearlessly continued to face the progression of the disease there were times I simply did not want to come and visit - it was hard to watch the disappearance of our very own “wise woman” taking place right in front of me. And yet, I’ve also been saying for some time now that, as soon as I took your hand and “listened” to what you were trying to tell me, it felt as though another kind of exchange may have been taking place at a “heart and soul” level. Over time I became pretty convinced of two things:
you were busy, busy, busy … helping was a word that was constantly in use and it crossed my mind that perhaps you were actually helping others to transition across that rainbow bridge; and
that you and I really were “connecting” - even though here in our “human-suits” neither one of us may have known or understood what we were sharing and connecting about, something else was taking place and I could not NOT come to visit.
I’d like to think that was part of what happened with, and for, us yesterday my sweet girl. That perhaps with the recall of Bing Crosby singing Irish Lullaby and some of our simpler statements like “Easy Does It” and “Let Go and Let God” you were able to breath easy and just close your eyes one last time this morning.
My heart is hurting and the tears are flowing but there’s also an element of gratitude. Gratitude that I want to write about and share here on substack because I know there are others who will relate and understand.
Perhaps the change in “view” today is more of a question for consideration. Maybe? What IF the journey through the illness of dementia is actually an undertaking by a group of souls that have embodied incredible courage and resilience, in order to evolve to a much higher vibration and degree of consciousness? Might that “new idea” open the door to a level of love and compassion never before experienced?
And that you have certainly done my Glady! Even within the throes of dementia, we were gifted to receive some of the most amazing “Perfectly on Time” statements from you. Statements that spoke to who you always were, and obviously remained, somehow attached at a level separate from the dementia.
Statements like:
“Don’t you know who I am” (with a flick of your head and a look of disdain - all the while embracing the “actor” within).
“Absolutely” - one word of such strong significance to describe most any scenario that might be unfolding. I think it’s a match for Don’s “unbelievable” in that it can be taken any number of ways.
“Connection is really what it’s all about”
“Pass it on - that’s what we’re here to do”
“I love you too” (in response to the male voices sitting in on our gatherings…forever and ever you reiterated that you loved the men…LOL)
Just a few of your many gifts
I met you in 1981 as I began that love story with Donald James and you and I experienced this most lovely “spark”. Of course back in the day we weren’t so inclined to speak out loud about “soul-mates / connections / journeys / relationships” —long list right? But, we DID consider that somewhere within the universe we had travelled together many, many times in other lives and realms.
Your presence at that magical Hawaiian wedding, wearing a beautiful wide brimmed hat (as only you could pull off) and exuding such a bucketful of joy and happiness for the two of us that we couldn’t help but feel loved right to the brim.
Over our 43 years together in “earth-school” how you’ve been like a surrogate mother and always and forever offered a level of acceptance and unconditional love that is rare to experience.
The mutual friends we connected with over the years and the profound impact you had in all of our lives because of your never-ending indomitable spirit, kindness and grace.
Your approach to life and stories that still make me laugh
I’m pretty sure my sharing of a few little stories will further lift and embrace your spirit as you dance your way into the arms of those waiting for you Glady.
Your acting career was a highlight both for you and those of us gifted to walk with you. On one “gig” the scenes were being filmed at the PNE grounds, I think in the Pacific Coliseum building, and you had skipped into a washroom (in a bit of a hurry) only to discover when finished that you were actually in the mens and not the ladies facilities. I still wish I could have been there - even as a fly on the wall - to see your “performance”. Your re-telling of that story was hilarious and as only you could relay you finished with:
“I just stood up tall with my head held high, as though I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and walked through and out the washroom to the exit”.
I think the included photo from your 80th birthday says it all - it’s very clear you were a force and a presence. Not one to be feared but rather one to be adored. We nicknamed you our very own “Queen” years and years ago and somewhere along the way added “Wise Woman” to the mix. Both terms of endearment were well deserved.
Then there was that period when you were kind of/sort of without a permanent address. If I recall correctly you were living out of your little Westfalia camper. One Sunday, at a weekly gathering we used to attend, you arrived, made your entrance, and once again with that tilt of your head and powerful presence announced:
“Well! I’ve decided I’m not homeless at all - I’m simply a citizen of the world.”
It wasn’t just your ability to make lemonade out of lemons - it was also your willingness to always look a little more closely, a little more deeply, and a little more thoughtfully for the evidence of that “hidden hand” you used to make reference to.
And always another favourite was on one of our many trips to Hawaii. There was an annual convention that we loved to attend and one year in particular you had been asked to “read” an opening statement of sorts at one of the meetings. When we arrived at the venue to complete our sign-in and registration your name was not to be found. In truth, I did think you had gotten just a teeny weenie bit “puffy” at the prospect of doing this reading but I also knew it wouldn’t last long. Suddenly you disappeared. Not overly anxious but nonetheless a bit concerned we were looking around for you and wondering where you might have slipped off to. Of course you reappeared some time later with your “confession” as such:
“I decided to go and have a conversation with my angels because I couldn’t understand what was happening and why I was being kind-of tested. When I asked them what was going on they responded with - we’ve been concerned about your attitude Gladys so we went to God to ask for some guidance and direction and he responded with - yank her registration.”
Of course we all had a great belly laugh at your recounting the tale and loved you even more for your willingness to not only make fun of yourself but more importantly to undertake that “uncover, discover and discard” approach I’ve mentioned in other posts.
What will we do without your physical presence?
In more recent years your daughters Sandy and Adeja and I have all embraced the idea that we are soul-sisters. Thank you for sharing them with me and for the part you have played in my own “soul-story”. Of course, today has been a reminder that in our busyness and in today’s world of technology it’s pretty easy to get caught up and at times land in overwhelm. And then - poof - the departure of one who loved so unconditionally is in itself an overwhelm. An overwhelm of multiple emotions. Heartbreak, anger, regret, running parallel with gratitude and love.
You are etched into my heart and soul as I know you are etched into the hearts and souls of literally hundreds - not necessarily through direct connection but through the lineage of “passing it on”.
I do believe your last messages to us contained all that we will need in order to continue moving forward without your physical presence. I say that because your “generosity of spirit” has been relayed to us through example so we all know what comes next. Continuing to put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing to the best of our ability. Trust God, clean house and help others.
Yes ma’m….that’s exactly what we will be “practicing” always “Perfectly on Time”.
Luv ‘n stuff
Marilyn
PS - In one of Suzanne Giesemann’s meditations there’s a line that often provides me with encouragement when life feels somewhat in shadow. We agree to come here to live this story so that we may:
…return with more love than what we’re given to come here with…”
You have certainly accomplished that Gladys - with gratitude for you forever.
PPS - Yes, I understand I am not yet eligible to wear the mantle of Wise Woman so will continue with Crone aka Wise Woman (in training) until further notice.
Marilyn, your recounting of some of the times with Gladys caused me to wish I had known her too. However, in further reflection I realized that in some form, I do….through your sharing of things you have learned, and so, her legacy carries on, and I am grateful. Hugs Lady, as you walk this latest road of jumbled emotions.❤️
Oh Marilyn, I'm so sorry to hear your Gladys has transitioned, but your tribute to her and your long and meaningful relationship was a treasure to read. God speed to us all, whether we are here or there. XOXO